mellowing

I want to write..
I don't know where to spoil this, it just doesn't feel right to just let it inside me.

I wish somebody know how I feel right now, for what happened a long time ago, for me it's a long time, though there's sure be a much more long waiting than me.
Am I really not patient enough? Should I considered it as a waiting? or foolishness?

I wish u know this, and do something about it, figure out some reasons I really desire for along this time.. It better be good
I hate it. I hate u, or perhaps I hate myself, or hate this condition.
*istighfar

Early of this month, I knew that it'll be hard.
It's a memory of a year ago, and how pity I am for unable to get rid of it.
How pity...